True love, illusion and the ego
The purpose of love is to let go of judgement entirely. To let go of judgement entirely you need to let go and release all past. The past doesn't exist any more. It's gone and it will never return.
It will only stay energetically if you let your ego keep it here. If you release it you do not know what really was in the past, and it's not important. When it's not important and you realize that you don't know anything about it you can feel only love. You can release both yourself and help others when you let go of the past.
The ego believes in separation and that you will be hurt or have been hurt. The ego want you to put up your guard. You don't need to guard yourself if nobody can hurt you. The only way to be hurt is to listen to your ego. Release the ego that believes in separation. You are not separated. We are all connected. There are really no bad people. The essence of everyone is pure love. Life's circumstances make some of us to put up our guard and close others out. But it's not real. It's an illusion.
Real love is love with total acceptance. Real love does not put restrictions on another person. You can't wait for another person to make you feel good and loved. Real love comes from you. From the essence inside of you. No one else can make you feel free and happy. It comes from yourself. From the Divine that already exists inside you. Your ego want you to believe that there is someone out there who can fill the love you seek. You need to be that you seek. That means letting go of ego and expectations. Then you will attract that what you were seeking. It will come, because you find the true love inside you and there will be no need to find someone who can bring it to you.
You feel quilt when you search for true love outside yourself therefor every relationship in your life is a lesson of true love and a big mirror for you to see what you need to work on. No one is special. We are all already perfect and we only need to let all the veils that cover our sight fall. One by one. To seek a relationship that will fill things you think is missing will only hurt you. Maybe not at first, but it will. Simply because no person can do that for you. It's unfair to expect it because it's unreal. A picture or expectation that the ego created is never real.
The meaning of love is to understand oneness. We are all equally as spirits. We know only love as spirits. The ego is a creation from our earthly life and only creates illusion of separation. When you see and find the love inside you, there is no need to seek it outside you. It's also impossible to condemn some plats of a relationship and love some parts of it. That's not true love and not a true relationship. What you haven't discovered in yourself you can never see it in another. Because you don't know how it looks like and how it feels like.
The above are my thoughts from A Course in Miracles
Love & Light