Breaking Free: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Embracing Lasting Change by Care’n Mooney

Care'n Mooney
Mar 12
3 min read

Why do I seem to be repeating my learning choices? How is it possible to invest so much in self-awareness and yet keep stubbing my toes?

One step forward and two steps back. I am paying attention, doing affirmations, facing shadows, and attempting to use the Four Agreements. And then I find myself right back at the beginning, back to step one.

This is a question that runs through most people's minds when they are breezing along and then bam, bam, bam! Suddenly, I hear the song "Here I Go Again," and it keeps repeating over and over in my brain.

We cleaned house, our thoughts, feelings, and emotions—and assumed we got everything this time. However, what I thought I had discovered just proves that it’s never just a thought we think about or even question. Something else is in play.

We missed it because we didn’t give it any value, and yet it speaks volumes.

I had a client who was very successful at what she did, and yet as soon as she started making money, she would sabotage herself. After three consecutive sessions in Reiki, she realized that all the work she had been doing was being sabotaged by a thought form she didn’t even know she had. She remembered the moment her mother stopped loving her and began to completely ignore her.

At the age of four, she went from being pampered and well cared for to not even having her mother acknowledge that she was alive. In her four-year-old mind, she deduced that happiness and joy could be ripped away. So, if she didn’t allow herself to be truly happy and successful, it wouldn’t hurt as much if she lost it.

I, too, experienced a success-stopping point. I had learned to expect lack from my grandmother’s strong religious beliefs. “The meek will inherit the earth,” or “The rich cannot know God.” To be spiritual, you need to be poor. Yes, this was part of my upbringing, and I assumed this was where I needed to begin to release what was keeping me from my highest good.

But it wasn’t.

At one time, this belief was true for me, and I worked diligently on letting it go. Yet I still found myself sabotaging success. I find joy in flowing Reiki, and I love seeing the life changes it brings to people.

I also love being in nature: planting, watching clouds, and just being in the moment. I am blessed to do both. However, when my business slowed down and I found more time to be outside, I was very happy.

What I didn’t realize was that when I was ready to schedule an appointment for someone, my mind would go to, “Tomorrow would be such a great day to be in my garden.” I had no idea that such a simple thought would result in me putting a halt to the flow of new clientele. When I finally realized this, I understood that with balance and harmony, I could enjoy both things equally. I didn’t have to give up one to have the other.

So, how do we change?

We acknowledge the need for change.
We acknowledge what needs to be changed.
We acknowledge how to change it.

It’s not easy changing your mind, a thought pattern, an emotion, and becoming the change. But it is possible.

Every Tuesday evening, I have a heart-centered meditation at my center in Mesa, Arizona. I call it the open-heart meditation. I guide the group into our heart’s center, feeling it with joy, feeling it expands and vibrates faster and faster until we become our true essence as beings of light.

If anyone is in the Phoenix or Mesa area, please give me a call and be part of our open-heart meditation.

I see you, I appreciate you, I honor you