Feeding the Fear by Care’n Mooney

Care'n Mooney
9 hours ago
5 min read

Our first experiences after birth are tied to our survival. We take our first breath, we consume our first food, and we are equipped with an inborn fear of falling and loud noises. These instincts are given to us to ensure our survival and help us navigate this environment successfully.

All creatures are given protective instincts to help them transition into adulthood and survive the dangers that surround them.

As we begin to grow, however, we are introduced to emotional fears, fears that can become deep-seated and unconscious. By observing our environment before we’ve developed the ability to filter emotional experiences, we absorb what we see. When our parents argue or walk away from us, we feel a profound sense of loss, which is later internalized as abandonment.

We interpret that as meaning we were somehow responsible. In our immature emotional development, when we witness certain behaviors such as conflict or someone leaving, and we are unable to resolve or make sense of them, we experience a deep sense of loss.

These subconscious fears can be triggered, causing us to relive them and make decisions without even realizing how deeply ingrained they are. These feelings of fear can be deeply stored within us, tucked away until a situation arises that makes us feel as though we’re reliving a familiar trauma.

We have transformed a healthy fear, one rooted in physical survival, into an emotional fear driven by circumstances. Unfortunately, not every child is taught how to handle feelings of fearfulness.

When we experience fear, our body releases adrenaline, a chemical that prepares us for physical action. In anticipation of that fear, we may need to hide, run, or fight for our lives. The body does not distinguish between physical and emotional danger.

When you can't run or fight, the adrenaline remains in your body, overstressing it and potentially contributing to disease. Every known illness can be traced back to fear or its close companions: guilt and worry.

When we are experiencing an abundance of fear, we cannot think clearly. As a result, the decisions we make while in this emotional state often do not serve us in the best way.

The world has experienced many periods of fear and anxiety. However, one of the most profound was the global pandemic. It plunged the world into an epidemic of PTSD, suicides, divorces, traumas, business closures, and a loss of closeness within families. We lived in constant fear, and the effects are now contributing to numerous long-term illnesses.

But why are we so willing to revisit our fears, pulling them out of the box and playing with them over and over again? When something is no longer useful, like an old car, we replace it. When a job doesn't work out, we change it. So why, instead of resolving misunderstandings or differences of opinion, do we continue engaging in family dramas, abusive relationships, or unfulfilling jobs? Until we face the true root of our fear, we keep switching faces, expecting different outcomes, all while continuing to feed the very fears that hold us back.

I once had a client who said she wanted to make changes. However, she had one condition. Despite the fact that her boyfriend told her he never wanted to see her again, had moved to another country, and refused all contact, she kept saying, “I want to change, but I will not change the fact that he is my one and only.”

I realized from that statement that she was identifying herself entirely through that belief. She was going through the motions of change yet unwilling to let go of the very thing causing her pain.

Some people have become so comfortable with their sense of self that the very thought of letting go of familiar fears feels out of the question. And that’s okay. When they are ready to change their minds, they will.

When you stop feeding the fear monster, it will eventually die. It may put up a fierce fight and demand to be fed, but you can choose to replace it with freedom, joy, and happiness.

As one of my clients says, 'I now have a happy place, and I will never give it up.

By design, humans use stress and challenges to learn, to grow, and to reach their potential. Fear is a useful tool when it helps keep us out of real danger. Past experiences can serve as alerts, helping us become more aware of the situations around us. However, emotional fear that keeps us in a constant state of adrenaline overload is harmful to both the body and the soul.

There are some people who become so addicted to adrenaline that they feel the need to constantly seek out challenges to overcome.

We are once again reminded of the balance and harmony that keep us healthy and productive.

Living on adrenaline by leading a stressful life, deliberately entering relationships we know will be difficult, jumping out of planes, or risking life and limb through extreme activities to maintain the rush can eventually be disastrous.

On the positive side, when we learn to push the envelope and be creative without fearing loss, failure, or other people’s opinions, we can become top performers without relying on fear as a motivator.

Facing your fears, confronting your shadow self, and striving to find authenticity from within without being driven by fear will lead to health and harmony.

How can you do this:

Meditation
Staying in the Now
Creativity

From the Four Agreements

Being Impeccable with Your Speech
Not Taking Things Personally
Not Making Assumptions
Realizing that Your Best is Different Every Day

We are limitless human beings, and we can reach our potential by embracing joy and love, cultivating balance and harmony, nurturing self-love, and recognizing when the fear monster is crying out to be fed.

Every Tuesday evening, I host a heart-centered meditation at my center in Mesa, Arizona, which I call the Open-Heart Meditation. During this session, I guide the group into the depths of our heart’s center, filling it with joy as we allow it to expand and vibrate faster and faster. Through this practice, we embrace our true essence as beings of light.

If you’re in the Phoenix or Mesa area, I warmly invite you to join us. Feel free to reach out and become part of our Open-Heart Meditation community.